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Having two of me agree to go and talk with someone made it easier to do so. I didn't feel so self-conscious or worry about rejection. I was often told to go away, sometimes rudely, but it was much easier to handle because I was not lonely: there were two of me so we'd wander off talking to ourself. Rejection was far less painful than it'd been pre-merge because we supported each other.By the way "talking to ourself" wasn't something we ever accidentally did out loud. The mental communication process was easier and somewhat faster than out-loud speech, and it quickly became second nature with us. The greatest problem we had was avoiding saying "we" in reference to myself when talking to someone else. When we made that mistake, the other person usually assumed I was talking about me and them, which covered the mistake but occasionally resulted in a meaning that I didn't want.Of course, everything wasn't perfect; far from it. I liked looking at the girls in my classes, but NO 15-year old. He hadn’t been with anyone since his wife left him several years earlier. I’d come onto him so hard, he couldn’t help but take me. And take me he did. Hard. Very Hard. He was unleashing several years of pent up sexual frustration. At this point he didn’t care that he was fucking a transsexual. He used me several times that first night. He moved in with me while he was doing the work in Miguel’s apartment. Once he grew comfortable with the idea I was just a different type of woman, he opened up to me. Our frantic sex became gentle lovemaking, with him considerate of my desires and feelings. He was interested in me as a person. He listened to me, laughed with me instead of at me. He was disappointed when our time together ended. And so was I. Silve was no fool. She saw the burgeoning romance and did what she could to quash it. She and Miguel had other plans for me. Dark plans. She convinced Walt to brutally fuck me, hoping I would think he was just like all the others, using me, then.
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